About Shelby Sandefur

Hey! My name is Shelby Sandefur, and I can’t seem to stay in one place for very long. 

Mental Health & Leading Up to Backpacking

I went on my first solo trip at 20 years old, but before then I had NO idea what I was doing with my life. I had dropped out of nursing school, was working as a florist, and was ultimately just spending most of my time working on my mental health.

I first struggled with my mental health at 14 when I lost my cousin to an illness. During this time, grief hit me really hard, and it was a feeling I had never felt before. So, I thought my unhealthy coping mechanisms were normal since everyone always talked about how hard grief was. Little did I know, I was entering into clinical depression territory. 

I was also a competitive gymnast during this time with coaches who treated me horribly. I had been in the sport since I was 18 months old, but was completely falling out of love with it. However, I decided to enter a less competitive gymnastics program which is where I met the most amazing teammates and coach (who I now consider my second mom, and best friend). 

My mental health started getting better around 15 once I left the toxic sport environment I was in. I was healing, I was really focused on my educational goals, and I had an amazing support system.

 

When I was 17, things were okay. I was pulled from gymnastics due to a back injury which was really hard. But ‘luckily’ I wasn’t really missing out on much because it was COVID lockdown. And going to physical therapy twice a week for 6 months allowed me to get back to the sport (lightly) for my last year which I was stoked about. 

However, at 18 my mental health really plummeted. I was losing the only identity I ever knew (of being a gymnast), I was made to be a liar after reporting my coaches for emotional abuse and had to cut off my best friend of 9 years since she too didn’t believe me. I cut my father out of my life for the horrible things he repeatedly told me, my family support system drastically reduced, and my brain decided that was a good time to start processing the sexual assault I endured 12 years prior.

Since I wasn’t able to get/afford the proper emotional support I needed, I developed an eating disorder as a coping mechanism. It made me completely numb as a person and I lost my passion for everything in life. Due to this, my health was severely deteriorating. The mental illness was killing me, and if I wanted to survive, I was going to have to recover.

I spent the next couple years putting a LOT of work into ed recovery, self development, and trying to better my mental health overall. It was far from easy. In fact, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I wanted to give up so many times. But I knew my future self would thank me for all the work I was putting in. 

So, why am I getting so personal about these issues? Because I know how incredibly lonely it can be to struggle with your mental health and I want others to know they’re not alone. Everything I went through had a HUGE impact on where I am today and is probably my biggest butterfly effect on my life changing travel journey. 

Buying a one way ticket to Australia 

In January of 2023, I got on a plane with a one way ticket to Australia. This was going to be my first solo trip and it was planned to be 6 months long. I had done it through a travel agency because I had NO clue what I was doing no matter how many things I read about traveling. I would say I regret it because of how expensive it was for me to basically figure things out for myself, but I’m a firm believer in the butterfly effect and think everything worked out how it was supposed to.

I still had major social anxiety (I had all my life), so my first hostel experience was terrifying. I felt like a travel fraud because I didn’t have a clue on how anything worked. I had never done anything on my own like that before, and I was in my head thinking people were judging me as if they knew I had never been to a hostel before (no one knew lol).

The first night, I just stayed in my dorm wondering what the hell I was thinking of coming all the way to Australia on my own. But I ended up meeting a small group of people who also went through the same travel agency. The next few days were amazing and I was really enjoying my time in Surfers Paradise. I took surfing lessons, went to a little animal sanctuary, and won musical chairs in the hostel (went from being a dorm hermit to winning a hostel game. Who would’ve guessed haha). 

I was also offered a job interview (because of the travel agency) at a fancy rooftop bar, but had declined because it was a 6 month minimum commitment. And I wasn’t about to stay in Brisbane for the whole 6 months of my time in Aus. Little did I know, it was going to be a bit of a struggle to find a job.

Butttttt, I got really anxious about traveling solo and ended up staying with family friends in Brisbane for about 6 weeks. I did nothing but stay in their house and read. It wasn’t until I was going crazy and remembered why I was there. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t to sit in a house all day every day.

I did end up taking the leap to go to Melbourne, but was even more scared because I was going to be completely on my own this time (because at least I had family friends in Brisbane). I had a fear of airports and public transportation (more of the fear of getting lost), so this was both exciting and terrifying.

But from there, I learned. I slowly figured out what it is that travelers do on their own. I got to know people, and at every new hostel I went to I found an amazing group of people to spend time with. 

How my 6 month plan abroad turned to 16 

While I was traveling the east coast, I knew I only had so much money to spend and that I would need to get a job at some point soon. And as it turns out, looking for jobs in Australia online is not the way to go. So, I finally decided to get Worldpackers after having heard sooo many good things about it. 

I found a hostel to volunteer at with amazing reviews, and the timing to start was perfect. I decided to sign up for 2 weeks. That way I could just stay in one spot for a bit, take a break from backpacking, and plan what I was going to do after that. 

And what I REALLY wanted was to work on Hamilton Island. I applied countless times, but never heard back. I was really upset about this at first, but I had no idea that I was going to experience something I never knew I wanted and needed. 

After volunteering at the hostel for 3 days, I already felt at home and knew I had to extend my stay. So, those 2 weeks turned to 3, turned to 4, turned to 11 months. By the end of my first month, I ended up getting a job on the Great Barrier Reef (by complete luck) and spent the next several months just living this small beach town lifestyle. 

I made so many amazing friends, learned a ton about myself and life, went for many walks along the beach, and felt more loved and chosen than ever before. I would go to work for 10 hours, and get back to the hostel to everyone greeting me as if I was the rainbow after a storm. 

My days consisted of going to work, hanging out with friends, reading, going to the beach, and taking naps. Truly doing whatever it was I wanted, which for me consisted of a slow paced, relaxed lifestyle. It was seriously the most peaceful I have ever felt. There was no trying to be happy. I just was. I would wake up every morning with extreme gratitude for where the universe had led me. 

That’s why in July, I made a quick Facebook post for my friends and family back home letting them know I was not in fact coming home that month, and was unsure of when I would be home. 

After Australia 

My working visa for Australia expired by the end of January of 2024, but I still didn’t want to leave. I was feeling too comfortable and didn’t want to go back home to the snow. So, I decided to get a regular holiday visa and go back to volunteering at the hostel for a little while. 

After a couple more months, major long term friends had left. Of course you always make friends with people constantly coming and going, but the friends that had been with me since the very beginning had left, and I knew it was my time to go too. I was starting to get the travel bug again.

That’s what led me to travel a bit of SouthEast Asia. I went to Vietnam since it was the cheapest way to get there, and I had a couple long term friends going there that I planned to meet up with.

Because Asia’s first language isn’t English, I was terrified. I had no idea what to expect, but I was also extremely excited after having met so many people with fun stories from their Asia trip. And it ended up being amazing. I never actually traveled Vietnam solo considering I met a couple girls at the first hostel and we ended up traveling together for a couple weeks before I met up with my friend from Australia to which he and I traveled for a couple weeks. 

And after a month there, I went to the Philippines which was not the experience I was expecting. It was definitely amazing at times, but I really struggled and for some reason I wasn’t feeling it (crazy since I love being by the ocean). I was stressed the majority of the time, hadn’t met hardly any people who matched my vibe, and ended up losing my phone and debit card a week before my international flight home.

I’ll be honest, losing my phone and debit card a week before heading home was so awful. I was so stressed that I felt like I had a terrible chest cold, I couldn’t access my flight information to get to my next island, I had to jump through hoops to get money to last me until I went home, and I was feeling really homesick and just ready to be at home with my sisters. 

However, the experience is something I’m very grateful for. I loved getting to experience traveling with no phone. I was forced to be more present and figure things out even more on my own. I met some truly amazing people who I am so extremely grateful for. I had a couple people give me a bit of money until I figured out how to get some, people bought me dinner, I had countless people let me use their phone to message my mom through their Instagram, and a girl even got up at 4:15am to wake me up for my flight to the next island. 

Turns out, I use my phone for much more than communication and google. It was then I realized I couldn’t just book a hostel, I couldn’t set an alarm, I couldn’t access my flight information, I couldn’t pull up google maps to show me where I was going, and I couldn’t take photos or videos which I love to do. 

Luckily, I was able to get on my international flight. It was the longest travel day of my life. Between not having a phone (luckily I had my kindle), not being able to sleep a wink, and wanting to get home as soon as possible, it didn’t go by very quickly. And I ended up missing my last flight home. By that point, I was ready to break down even though they put me on the next flight which was only an hour later. 

 

I’m Home, Now What?

I am wholeheartedly in love with traveling. So even though I’m home, it doesn’t mean I plan to stay here. I do have 4 younger sisters though, one of which is only a toddler, and I am really enjoying spending time with them for a while. Especially since I was away for way longer than any of us expected. 

I’ll be working on this blog full time and probably getting a part time job to make a bit of money so that I can maybe travel or go back to my home away from home in Australia for a couple months. I know growing a blog is a slow process, but I’m determined to make it work and make it my full time job. 

And once I’ve got my blog going and it takes off, I’ll have a whole list of places on my bucket list that I want to go too.

My Goals With This Travel Blog

Yes, I would love to turn this blog into full time income and more. However, my main goal is to create content that will help readers who want to travel feel more prepared. When I first started traveling, I had no clue what I was doing and would always look up specific content in order to feel more prepared. But I somehow never did feel fully prepared.

Although, I do believe that is a huge part of traveling. You never know what to expect until you actually experience it. And I think that’s wonderful. 

I also really want to inspire people to take that leap and travel. To stop waiting for other people to go with, because that day may never come. I know, it’s absolutely terrifying to travel solo and so many people don’t do it simply because they are scared. I was there. And I hope to be that person that pushed you over the edge. I hope my words help inspire you to just book that flight and go. 

I am lucky enough to have someone in my life who is always encouraging me to get out of my comfort zone and inspiring me to be the best version of myself. I never would have traveled without Holly’s push. She is always pushing me to get out of my comfort zone, and she was the only person I had in my personal life telling me to go for it. I truly have her to thank for always inspiring me to be the best version of myself. 

So, I also want to dedicate this blog to Holly. I wouldn’t be where I am without her, and I sure as hell never would’ve pursued a lifestyle that is considered “unrealistic” by most people. So thank you Holly. For inspiring me to go against the grain and choose the lifestyle I’ve always wanted.